TTIM

Things that interest me - that's what that acronym means. God get with the times, that's what us kids do nowadays in order to cover up the fact that most of us are completely illiterate and merely one or two generations off of communicating exclusively in grunts and looks of condescension. But srsly this is what happens if you allow teenagers to run rampant, developing their own vernacular and using technology to further the spread of their blight. Prescriptivism FTW.

If you agree with the statement above then you probably also think that your granddaughter's new boyfriend is "just a little too brown" for your liking. I however happen to sit quite firmly on the side of descriptivism believing that, like most people who weren't born midway through the Boer War, language has to evolve to stay relevant and usable.

Anyway, enough with the 'witty banter' and lets get on to explaining what this page is for. Firstly, my blog's page bar was looking pretty damn sparse. Secondly, it is a way for me to feel productive whilst essentially procrastinating and finally, I have more interests than just reviews and films. This page will literally be a list of things that I have heard that interest me that I will add to over time. Yes this is the big reveal that you (and only you judging by my lack of readers) have trawled through two horrendously written and overbearingly pointless paragraphs to find out. But hey! Its my blog, so if you don't like what I do then you are very welcome to start your own blog about how bad this blog is and post a link to it in the comments below.

TTIM

• The male of the angler fish species is little more than a parasitic penis that swims about till it finds a female. Upon finding a lady friend, he fuses himself to her body using her to survive and in return providing the female with pretty much the only thing a parasitic penis can produce.
• Franz Reichelt was a French tailor who decided that there was a gap in the market for business parachute suits for those that worked in skyscrapers. It was essentially a suit with a tent sewed onto it. To prove that it worked he jumped off the Eiffel Tower wearing it only to hit the ground approximately 2mph slower than if he had jumped naked.
• Genghis Khan was something of an innovator in siege warfare, himself being one of the earliest pioneers of biological weaponry. Should a city prove to be particularly annoying, say for example they shut their doors to stop him murdering everyone, he would murder everyone anyway by catapulting victims of the bubonic plague over the city walls. What a chap!

  

• Pirate captain Daniel Montbars was, to say the least, an unpleasant man. His methods of torture were so extreme that it even put his own crew off of having a good time murdering people! One method that he invented was known as the dance of death in which he would cut open his victim's stomach and nail their intestines to the mast. Proceeding to then beat the victim with flaming sticks forcing them to move around thus disembowelling themselves. Also according to Google images, he was a floral bucket hat aficionado!