Venom

Year Of Release: 2018

Genre: Superhero

Run Time: 112mns

Age Rating: PG 13 (UK)

Director: Ruben Fleischer

Review

I know what you're thinking... "Holy crap Pixar branched out creatively after Toy Story 2!" Well no, not exactly. The truth is that my Monsters, Inc. review is currently still in the works, and having heard that Venom had just dropped into the cinemas with a dismount from the editing studio that bore a stark resemblance to Samir Ait Said's 2016 exit from the Rio Olympics, I was keen to investigate it. 

Above: Venom's shoddy dismount from the editing studio.

Before going to see the film I had scanned through a few reviews as I usually do and by golly gosh did that cancerous blanket of general distaste that had settled itself over the film's Rotten Tomatoes page, like powdered asbestos, draw me in! One of the articles I read was a review on IGN that remains in my mind, even after seeing the film, as a very apt summary of 'Venom'. "A turd in the wind", reads the title, taking a quote from the film, a quote that I have to agree with them on, as the film was not great. However, after having walked into the cinema, popcorn in hand and ready to have a good chuckle at the resulting mess of over 10 years of other people's hard work, I was to be disappointed. Whilst 'Venom' was certainly the film equivalent of a turd in the wind, what I hadn't accounted for was that much like I imagine literally watching excrement being ushered down a street would be, the film wasn't dull. I found myself at times laughing with the film rather than at it, as it cheekily gushed along the gutter scaring passers-by. The only problem was, as I sat in the middle of that street watching it from afar, occasionally the metaphorical wind would change direction and I would be treated to a face-full of shit!  

First of all I'm going to do what all good millennials do. Argue my point against people (reviewers) who are older, more experienced and just generally better at what they do than I am, whilst simultaneously ignoring all the well analysed points that they present. My point being that this film is not poor enough to warrant only a 30% approval rating on Rotten Tomatoes. So here goes! 'Venom', is by no means a great film. But on the flipside, it's certainly not a bad film. The negative points are unequivocally more entertaining and plentiful so I will trot through a couple of them first. My main qualm with the film did not sit with the awful pacing or with the occasionally BTEC level script. Instead it parked it's rear end firmly next to the action scenes. I am not a fan of action films as 'lack of an actual story' and 'unbridled masculinity', aren't exactly two of the main things that I look for in a film. This is however not why I find the truly bombastic action set pieces, that litter themselves throughout 'Venom's runtime, obnoxiously unnecessary. The reason for this is that they change the tone of the film completely. Don't get me wrong, this film lacks subtlety like most females lack a Y chromosome but even for this film the set pieces are so over the top and drawn out that it drags down the aspects of the film that are genuinely entertaining.

My other problem with Venom that I will touch on is the relationships within the film, or lack thereof. I can't think of any two characters within this film that share screen time, who show any kind of chemistry. Plot points that really should effect relationships between characters are used solely to push the film forwards and character development was completely forgotten. Tom Hardy gave a multi-layered and believable delivery of the characters that he portrayed, his performance within this film outshining the oftentimes sloppy script and cringe inducing dialogue. However even Hardy seemed to share more chemistry with his other self than he did with any other character within the film! 

A HD image of the dust 

settling on an average Venom fan.

Like I said, Hardy should be commended for his work in 'Venom' and although the actor has seemingly tried to distance himself from the feature post release, I believe he has nothing to be ashamed of. The scenes with just Eddie Brock and Venom were, in my opinion the films high points. Not only were they engaging and somewhat believable but they were also the main source of the laughs for me. The first 30 or so minutes of the film is mainly what I would refer to as exposition and by god does it drag. However, from the point at which the titular Venom is bonded with Eddie, the film picks itself up to dust off some of the disappointment that had settled on the studded wristbands and liberty spikes of the edgy Venom fans. From this point onwards, Venom proceeds to reveal itself as a moderately enjoyable B-list superhero flick. I think what truly sums up it's B-List status is the production company cards at the start of the film. "In Association with MARVEL STUDIOS", it proudly announces. I'll admit, this was my first laugh at the film. It's presence on the screen made  me imagine an inherently unpopular child namedropping one of the 'cool kids' in order to gain some early credibility. In actual fact, what seems to be the case with this film is, that past the initial creation of its characters, Marvel had very little to do with the production of Venom.

Overall Venom is an earnest attempt to bring the titular character to the silver screen and whilst it's true, the film is a pretty large mess, it's entertaining. Much like a dog with wheels for hind legs, it's moderately endearing in its attempt to join the other dogs atop the stairs of popularity and also like a dog with wheels for hind legs, it is definitely worth spending your money on just to see it... I mean, even if you hate the film you get a free comic from it so, win win!


Scoring

Final Score: 8

Footnote (to answer the questions that nobody asked me):

Q. Is this review sponsored by any companies?
A. I'm shocked that you think that I wouldn't make Sure you knew from the outset of the review whether it was sponsored or not. I'm so angry that I'll only let you Axe me one more question so long as you never mention brand deals again. Knorr shall you bother any companies that you may suspect sponsor me. Unilever.*

Q. What is the most egregious act of animal on animal bullying that you have ever witnessed and where did it occur?
A. Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo.


*Disclaimer: I am not actually sponsored by Unilever. Knorr anyone else.