Toy Story 2

Year of Release: 1999

Genre: Adventure

Run Time: 89mns

Age Rating: U (UK)

Director: John Lasseter

Review

It has now become time to review the second movie in Pixar's highly regarded 'Toy Story' trilogy and the third and youngest child of my three siblings analogy. Toy  Story 2 sat in it's soiled nappies and marvelled as it's oldest brother (Toy Story) receive praise for his ground-breaking strides in dinner time etiquette. He also watched as his middle brother (A Bug's Life) received a first birthday card from his parents two days late after he was forced to walk home from the shopping centre at which they had left him. As he sat, Toy  Story 2 took in all this information and analysed it before proceeded to demonstrate such an unbridled level of all round insufferable perfection that even the angel child that was its oldest brother wanted to sucker punch it.

Now that I have completed that strained analogy, that I'll admit, probably stretched on for 2 reviews too many, I can proceed to give my uniquely unqualified critique of this film. This film is, honest to god, the quintessential example of how to make a sequel for a film that is held in such high regard that I'm sure that if it started a career in magic it would gain some disciples and have a religion named after it! Rather than allowing the tsunami of praise that followed Toy Story's success to fill their heads with a sense that they could do no wrong, Pixar looked back at their previous works and ironed out their short comings to produce what is no less than the best sequel ever put to film. A sequel that, in my opinion at least, is superior to the original in every aspect!

A photo of Toy Story's 4th birthday party featuring close friends and loved ones. A photo of Toy Story's 4th birthday party featuring close friends and loved ones.

The story is larger in its scope than the first and therefore feels more like the adventure of truly vast proportions that the first had promised but not quite delivered upon. Toy Story 2 not only delivers a sense of scale to the toy's adventure that was missing in the first but also adds a true sense of possibility that the group may be separated forever. I'm now going to trust this review pelvis first into spoiler territory, however quite frankly if you are old enough to be able to read this review and you have not yet watched this film, the lack of joy in your life must seem like the more pressing matter than reading a spoiler to a film that is nearly two decades old. Within the main story arc of this film we learn Woody's origin story and meet the rest of what is, for all intents and purpose, his true family. These new characters are in turn the keystone of Toy Story 2's superiority to its predecessor as not only do they cohesively merge with the existing cast, they are also so well built upon, not once coming across as a half-arsed attempt to further their profit margins with new merchandise.

A picture of an early, more realistic version of the final chase 

before Disney called for the re-writes.

Their contribution to the story is not only in their mere presence as they provide a believable reason for Woody to leave his friends and Andy forever. They are his birth family, a link to his origins that had remained alien to him until meeting them, he completed their set and even though he'd only just met them he felt like he was home. The film excellently plays with this possibility of Woody leaving forever up until the very final act. I'll admit, this suspense is completely upheaved when you remember that Pixar are owned by Disney and that this is a kids film so of course there is no way on Bald Mountain that Woody was going anywhere other than back home with his friends. This to be fair is probably a better message to send to children than 'it's alright to expatriate oneself with some people you met 1 day ago'!

Once again however, Pixar completely lose me in the very final act as they once again demonstrate their inability to close a Toy Story film without a toy displaying an ability that is so unrealistic that it even seems out of place in a children's film about sentient toys! In the first Toy Story it was RC the remote controlled toy car who managed to keep up with a truck that may have been going up to 35mph. In the sequel however Pixar knew they had to up the anti. So in order to one up themselves the closing sequence had a toy horse keep pace with a plane. Now I have done my research, and the average take-off speed of a fully loaded 747 is 184mph. I just can't help but feel that even a real horse would be running on bloodied stumps at that point, I'm sorry Pixar but I can only suspend my disbelief so far!

Scoring Final Score: 19   Footnote (to answer the questions nobody cares about): Q. What is your favourite colour? A. H.144, S.144, L.255 Q. How does your scoring system work? A. I choose a random number from 1-20, 1 being unbridled hatred and 20 being unrequited love. I then cut that number down into 4 new random numbers who's sum equals my original number and voila. Some people just like numerical stimuli in reviews.

Toy Story

Year Of Release: 1995

Genre: Adventure

Run Time: 77mns

Age Rating: PG (UK)

Director: John Lasseter

Review

I don't know what the first DVD that I owned was but if I had to take a guess it would probably have been something like Scooby Doo and the Cyber Chase. However, for the sake of this review let us pretend that, even from a young age, I was showing signs of amounting to a well rounded individual who's opinions were actually valid, and say that the first DVD I owned was Toy Story. Now that we have successfully swept my early ineptitude aside you can read this review with the knowledge that, much like the average millennial around election time, fact and my opinion are one in the same.

Pixar prepare to open the new land

 bridge that their 

profits helped build.

Toy Story is a good film. It's story was, to my knowledge, a fairly original concept upon it's release. Which is funny when you bear in mind that the film plays heavily off of the childhood fantasy of one's toys being sentient. Pixar took a running jump off a cliff with this film, should Toy Story have failed it would have more than likely ended their aeronautical career a little over two decades ago. Luckily enough, their exceptional screenplay, fleshed out characters and overall marketable plot made enough money to cushion their fall, cure world hunger and throw them into Disney's good books in one go. This good fortune meant that their initial leap of faith was more comparable to Scrooge McDuck's than it was Tommen Baratheon's. 

I don't want to focus too heavily on what this film does well. Oily Ponces in braces and dickie bows have been smothering this film in praise since before I had learned that defecating in my underwear was a no-no in most social circles. So to finish off this review I will leave you with a small list of things that I have disliked about this film since I was an ankle biter and the reasons why my young critical mind held such opinions.

• Sid - not only is his character design similar to Megamind if he had a belt strapped around his head from birth but he strongly reminded me of a twat that once bit my nan.
• Buzz Lightyear and Woody's relationship - Yes, it is one of the most thrilling bromances that animated cinema has ever provided, with sexual tension that you couldn't crack through with a jackhammer. However I have always found the start of their blossoming  bromance rather grating. Both parties show equally annoying and over the top traits (not present in the subsequent sequels) that stick out like a sore thumb from the rest of Pixar's subtle character development.
• No one notices toys dropping through a car's sunroof - This is a petty one however the whole final sequence, no matter how pant-wettingly thrilling, has always baffled me. Not Andy nor his mum pay any kind of attention to a firework going off  less than 100 meters behind their car. Nor do they notice two dolls - larger than their heads - fall through their sunroof.

Scoring

  

Final Score: 18

Footnote (to answer the questions nobody cares about):

Q. Have you ever cried at a film?

A. Yes, The Seventh Son was a challenging viewing experience for both me and my childhood.

Q. Who is your favourite god?

A. Cardea - Goddess of thresholds and door hinges. This woman had her priorities on straight.